A Perfectly Imperfect Kind of Christmas

Some year's everything lightly falls into place by Christmas day. A midst all the recitals, shopping, baking and planning eventually Christmas day arrives and everything works out. Other years don't fall into place so nicely. Like the guy singing flat during the Christmas choir concert,something is a little off.

End of the year projects and transitioning into a new position meant longer hours as at work for Ranger at least until the end of January. A strange phenomenon of a shortage of live trees in our area sent us driving through 3 towns before we actually found a tree.  A quasi stomach bug set up camp in our home leaving family members tired and making the idea of eating about as desirable as untangling a giant box of Christmas lights. Scout's asthma roared back to life requiring multiple breathing treatments a day. As a result of sickness we postponed Christmas dinner until two days after Christmas. Unfortunately, the stomach bug wasn't quite done with it's mayhem finally claiming me as it's latest victim. Ranger and the kids ate a scaled down and very delayed Christmas dinner without me. Christmas night Pen lamented on the couch,"It just didn't feel like Christmas. It wasn't even cold outside and we didn't have any snow."

Ah, such is the road of life.  It reminds me of a quote by Gordon B Hinkley, former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,

“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …

“Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride” (“Big Rock Candy Mountains,” Deseret News, 12 June 1973, A4).

As I type this Ranger and Scout are having a Nerf gun war in the house. My dog is resting peacefully on the end of my bed. Pen is quietly humming a tune to herself. Life isn't perfect but it is good.

We were able to make it to the light show in Bristol, TN. Santa's village included hot chocolate, a visit with Santa and a trip to the candy store.

After a drive through 3 towns we did find this great little tree.

When life let's you down it's good to take solace in faithful friends.

We scaled back the Christmas baking this year but enjoyed making buckeyes.

It  wasn't long ago that we had to hold Scout up to reach branches this high.

Five Reasons To Play At Home

I teach the 12 and 13 year old youth Sunday School at our local church.  My aim this last week was to lead my class of young scholars to the point of loving learning for learning's sake. After about a half an hour of trying every type of questioning technique and many long silent moments I still couldn't a single student to share one tiny moment where they loved to learn something. Then it dawned on me. By the time most of us reach the age of twelve learning has become a drudgery, a chore, and quite joyless.

I quickly came up with a new approach. I scrapped the word "learning" and asked, "What do you like to do just for fun?" After another long silence some brave soul claimed that he enjoyed trying to solve unsolvable math problems in his room. Another girl said she loved to read under the blankets. Some kids liked to play their own music and act in plays. And then finally, with only two precious class minutes to spare one student finally said, "Well, I like this kind of learning because I do it on my own and I enjoy doing it." Happy Dance!

Sadly, my class illustrated what I have long observed as a teacher, counselor and parent. Play and learning for it's own sake have very little value in a culture obsessed with the institutionalized structure of our time and the need to have that time validated and scored by experts. School, work, organized sports, and other competitive activities feast upon the hours of our day leaving precious little time anything else.

We pay a lot of lip service to the idea of play, especially for children. There are scads of academic papers on the subject. In my own personal research of this topic I even ran across a scholarly article stating the amount of time preschoolers should be allowed free play during the school day. We can read magazine articles and more expert advice on the importance of a balanced life and finding time for play. Yet, even with the evidence of "experts" we seem determined to champion the externally organized, structured, and expert validated activity.

Home can be a great place to reawaken and protect our human and very real need to play. I like David Elkin's definition of play from his book "The Power Of Play."  He defines play as our need to adapt the world to ourselves and create a new learning experience. With Elkin's definition as the framework here are five reasons to make home a great place to play.

A stick and some sand turn into an artist canvas for Pen.

Our homes can be a place where it's safe to play.

Play requires the ability to adapt our surroundings to ourselves. Our homes can be a safe and ideal place to at least plant the seeds of play.  Here we can try new things and contemplate new ideas away from the demands of external forces such as school and work. Even if  play takes us outside our homes starting at home provides a solid launching pad for new horizons.

Play makes families stronger

We don't have to wait for the annual family vacation to have fun together. Even small amounts of family fun at home can recharge our batteries and strengthen family bonds. Think of the last time you had fun with your loved ones and how you felt after. Making time for family fun not only improves the immediate atmosphere in your home but it builds memories for the stressful and trying times we all encounter. Too often we sacrifice family fun time because we don't see it as essential. Let's be wiser and realize that strong and healthy families have fun together, often.

Scout and Pen taking full advantage of childhood.

Play at home can be messy and that's OK

Nearly every woman I talk to laments about the state of her house. It's not clean enough or she just cleaned and now it's a mess. I can't tell you how often these same thoughts run through my head. As I type this my family room is scattered with toys, pillows are tossed on the floor, and two kids doing jumping jacks really, really close to the piano. Remember the definition of play is adapting our environment to our needs. Play for both adults and kids is often messy. Letting go of the fretting and stressing about an overly clean home all the time will not only invite the creativity and fun of play but also free you from unrealistic standards.

Making time for play is just as important as work, school and organized activities.

I have a friend who needs to sew and create in order to be a busy home school mother of six. My husband,Ranger,finds martial arts energizing and practices three times a week. Scout, my five year old needs to run as fast as he can at least three times a day. Ignoring or denying our need for play is like denying our need for sleep or nutritious food. If every moment of our day is devoted to employment, school, sports teams, dance practice, or what have you we are doing a serious disservice to the health of ourselves and our families.

The front yard makes a great spy headquarters.

Play at home is cheap.
You don't need a lot of money, supplies, or equipment playing at home. Most of the stuff for a good afternoon of serious play is right with in your four walls. No doubt some hobbies can command big dollars but for the most part the best kinds of play are low to no cost. I keep a Rubbermaid container of old flat sheets that my kids, Pen and Scout, drag out to make forts, picnic blankets, togas and whatever else. Ranger keeps a sketch book and pen close by for drawing and recording ideas. I also keep a cheap spiral bound notebook and pen near by for writing, jotting down ideas or recording thoughts.  We've enjoyed many hours of creative play with these items and yet all of them put together cost less than $30.00. The possibilities endless even if your budget is not.

Take a moment and think about how you can get a good, healthy dose of play into your home this week either for yourself, your kids or your family. Make it a regular part of your routine and then watch as a breath of fresh, playful air breezes through your home.  Happy Playing.

Interested in finding out more about play in human development and strengthening families?  Check out these resources.

David Elkin's "The Power of Play" has an interesting research and theory based argument for play.
An article from Psych Central about the importance of play for adults.
Our faith encourages families to work and play together.

Flights of Fancy: How a Science Project Turned Into A Family Hobby

I hung up a bird feeder late this last summer. Actually,  I cleaned up and filled the bird feeder that had been hanging listlessly from our front porch for far too long.  We tried feeding birds off and on but I became frustrated when the wind would blow the feeder apart spilling all the seeds. So, there it hung, useless and abandoned until we started homeschooling this year.

Birds, I thought, would be a great science project. We filled the feeder and waited. Then we waited some more. After a few more days of no show birds my kids started loosing interest and I wondered if our first science lesson would be a big fail.

After about a week I noticed the bird feeder swinging more than usual one day and there perched on the side of the feeder was our first customer, a black capped chickadee! He darted away before I could call the kids but I knew all we had to do was wait a few minutes.  I called "Pen", my daughter, and "Scout", my son to the front window.  Anxiously we waited. Three faces practically pressed against the front window looking for our brave customer. He rewarded us with a quick stop to the feeder and a tiny "cheep".  From that point on we were hooked.

Black Capped Chickadee. They are just as cute in real life!

Our feeder community now includes woodpeckers, nuthatches, tufted titmouse, golden and purple finches, several kinds of sparrows, jays, cardinals, a flock of mourning doves and three or four squirrels. I even saw a flying squirrel nibbling at some corn one night!

I didn't take this picture but our little flying squirrel looked just like this.

Caring for our feeder community has now gone from a science project to a family hobby. Scout loves helping me scatter seeds and corn and filling up the bird feeder. Pen picked out a bird printed material for her first sewing project, a pillowcase. Every morning both kids make their way to the couch by the window to wake up and watch their birds.  We talk about what the birds do in the winter and where they go at night. Pen and Scout have both drawn and colored numerous pictures of birds. We've had some squabbles on naming the birds, what birds are "girls" and what birds are "boys", and tussles over  favorite viewing spots on the couch but all in all the birds have brought quite a bit of learning and enjoyment to our house.

The Tufted Titmouse is a popular guy around our house.

I've walked by the living room different times and have found either one of the kids or even my husband,"Ranger", sitting quietly watching out the window. The window is now one of my favorite places to sit and think as I watch the birds flutter and perch at the feeder. I marvel the the diversity, beauty, ingenuity and tenacity of these tiny creatures. Truly, they have brought fun and joy to our home.

Pen and Scout spot a woodpecker.

Interested in setting up you're own feeder community or learning more about birds? It's relatively inexpensive, relaxing to watch and a great way to see nature up close. Try these resources below.

• Want to set up your own feeder or learn more about birds try the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. Great site!
• Enjoy coloring lifelike bird drawings. Great for all ages.
• Bird identification made easy.
• Count the birds at your feeder for science. Easy,fun and great for all ages.

Coming Home

This is a blog about coming home. I think it's a fair observation that in our culture most of life happens outside our homes. Many adults spend most of their waking hours at work. Children spend most of their waking hours either at daycare,school or both. Grocery store shelves are full of quick convenient foods that can be eaten right from the package or quickly microwaved. We eat our meals on the go, in fast food places and restaurants as we live our busy lives away from home. According to the USDA 43% of our all our food spending is on food away from home. You read that right. Forty three percent of our food budget is spent on snack packs, fast food burgers and Applebee's.

We only spend a tiny fraction of time living at home. Our hyper paced outside lives leave us drained and exhausted. What once was a place of refuge and a source of connection is now the place we are least likely to live. We,as a nation, are suffering from a massive case of homesickness.

Is being home really all that important? According to a 1990 study  done by the US Department of Health and Human services healthy families are essential to the overall health of the nation.

"Society relies on families to perform a number of essential functions such as providing for the economic needs of dependents, rearing and nurturing the next generation,and caring for the frail and disabled. When families break down or malfunction,everyone pays the price. Some of the critical functions of families may be taken over by public agencies or private charities that cannot carry out theses duties as efficiently as family members could, or the needs of family members go unmet."

Clearly, we can't underestimate the importance of home and what happens there.

Home. It's a place we can go to recharge, reconnect, and think about what really matters. Children, especially, thrive in a stable,connected home. No institution, program, or amount of money can replicate a parent lovingly raising a child. Likewise, many relationships improve when home is first. When people put home first marriages are stronger,neighborhoods and communities thrive.There is less substance abuse, less crime, and less broken families when home is first.We don't need academic studies verify what we can see all around us. Home is where we grow people, lives and generations.

Home Grown is a place for those who are looking to leave the empty business of outside things for a time and reconnect with their homes.So, here is my invitation to you: Come Home. Leave work on time today. Say no to the travel soccer team. Read a book to your daughter. Play a board game with your son. Call your parents. Put your phone away.Talk to your spouse. Play with your dog. Make and eat dinner at your own table tonight. Say no to the volunteer opportunity. Get to know your neighbor.

Oh,and,Welcome Home.

Cricket is the official Home Grown Greeter.